I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
