so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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