If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
