Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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