I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize