lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
