I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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