I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
