Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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