If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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