i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Someone signed my nipple.
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