so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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