y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
