I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
