I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
