Me too!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
