Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
