i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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