I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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