I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
