I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
