You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
