Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
