She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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