my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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