I hate your face
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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