Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can I color on your dick again?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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