I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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