It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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