Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
