6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
