So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
