On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
