Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
