Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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