I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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