I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
