that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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