why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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