i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
