No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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