I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
