she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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