JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
