I just threw up on my dentist
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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