you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
