what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
