i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
