Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
