Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
