The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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