I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
